The Interview.
Damien Senn: Arvind, what does living the life you love mean to you?
Arvind Devalia: To me, living the life I love means doing what you really love doing, having the resources to live life fully and having great relationships with everyone in your life. At the same time, do something that allows you to make some contribution to the world around you.
Damien Senn: What inspired you to write your book 'Get the Life You Love and Live it'?
Arvind Devalia: I was inspired to write the book by a desire to impact a much wider audience with my philosophy for life and also living the best life you can.
“Get the Life you Love and Live it” is my version of how people can truly live the life they want and aspire to. I feel I have a unique contribution to make and what I have written in the book is my truth. Not the truth, but my truth. The book contains a lot of anecdotes and examples from my own life, making it more realistic and approachable.
All my life I seem to have been involved in helping others somehow improve themselves. It was only when I came across coaching that I got a framework for doing this. However I soon realized that through one to one or even group coaching, I could only reach a few people at a time. Through my book I hope to reach a much wider audience.
Another reason for writing my book was to create something easy and effective. Like a lot of people interested in personal development, I too read many self-help books but found that any inspiration I got from them only lasted a day or two!
However, it was only when I started writing things down in a journal that my life began to change quickly and dramatically. So in my book each simple chapter is followed by pages in which you can start writing down your thoughts and actions. When I say that my book will change your life from day one, it really does that!
The suggested actions in the book have been tried and tested by me, my clients and many generous and supportive friends. The ideas and suggested solutions are therefore all within easy reach of readers
There are 25 simple chapters with steps to cover all areas of your life. Each step builds on the previous one, but you can also skip steps if you wish.
Yet the book is simple and very easy to use. The simplicity of the book makes it very easy and approachable, and not intimidating – as I said, I wanted to create a workbook for creating the life you want – and I feel I have done just that.
Damien Senn: What kind of feedback has the book received from readers?
Arvind Devalia: I have received excellent feedback from readers. They love the workbook format of the book as it almost forces them to reflect on their lives and take action from day one.
I have been contacted by many people whose lives have already been positively impacted – it has been very fulfilling and humbling to get such feedback. And such feedback has made all those long days of writing and proof reading very worthwhile.
It is truly rewarding to know that something I have created is profoundly changing people’s lives. For example, one reader quit her job a day after reading my chapter on “Find the work you love” – she is now in a much more fulfilling job and earning more too.
There have been many other such success stories and a couple of have been featured in national magazines. All very humbling really.
Damien Senn: 10% of the profits of the book go to support the Nirvana School in Pondicherry, India, a cause you've been supporting for over eight years. How important is it to have goals that extend out beyond personal gain?
Arvind Devalia: It is very important to have goals that extend beyond your personal gain. This makes you realise that we are all part of a bigger and greater picture.
One of the key principles that I talk about in my book is that of giving and receiving. The more you give open heartedly, the more you get back.
When you give to another, you receive the blessings of what you have given them – such as pleasure, satisfaction and joy. This way of giving and receiving is all about balance, and once you put it into action, you will receive as surely as you give. See every interaction as a gift – where you can learn and grow, and help others to grow too.
At the same time, be very open to receiving. For many people, giving is the easy part and it is in receiving that we can close down or refuse the gift. You must be open to receiving because if everyone was giving, and no one was receiving, to whom would you be giving?
Thank you for mentioning Nirvana School (www.nirvanaschool.org), which is located in Pondicherry, South India. Visiting the school for the second time in 2000 connected me with my passion for working with people and children particularly. If anyone ever wants to visit the school and do some voluntary work, I can guarantee a very fulfilling time – and perhaps even a life changing visit like it was for me.
By the way, even the way my book came about is a wonderful example of one of the key principles covered in the book – “Giving and Receiving”.
Some years ago, I did some fundraising in my local coffee shop, which led to coverage in my local newspaper. That led to a weekly column in my local paper and some of the articles eventually became the core of my first and second books. So prancing up and down St Johns Wood High Street in a red wig and a red nose three years ago has directly led to us having this interview!
Damien Senn: You use your own life as the backdrop for some of the principles that you discuss in your book. What's been your biggest life lesson?
Arvind Devalia: My biggest lesson has been that I must be authentic and follow my real passion. For many years I worked in large companies, and though I did quite well, I always felt I was in the “wrong” job. I realise now that I had always been passionate about people, and had been frustrated in not following my true path. When I first came across the concept of coaching, it felt like coming home.
Another major life lesson for me has been to focus on the bigger picture, and not to let challenges hold me back. A few years ago, I had some major life changes in my life at the same time and that was the lowest point of my life. Yet within a few months I had got it all together again – and that period of deep reflection and drastic change was the making of me and laid the foundations of my life today.
Damien Senn: What personal fears did you have to overcome in order to lead a more fulfilling life?
Arvind Devalia: How long have you got?! Okay, only kidding. The major one has been the one that I would say afflicts so many people – this fear of not being good enough. In the past, when I was doing so well in the corporate world, it still wasn’t enough and I held back from shining – as I felt I wasn’t “good” enough.
As I developed and grew over the last few years, I still found the fear of failure holding me back at almost every turn. For example, only a couple of years ago, I was petrified in getting in front of a group of people and making a speech. It was all about not being good enough, my accent, low voice etc. And yet now I have conquered this fear and last month had my first ever paid speaking engagement. I can now authentically call myself a “Professional Speaker”!
So the key has been to override any feelings of not being good enough – and just getting on with doing it.
Damien Senn: How quickly can people bring about profound changes in their lives?
Arvind Devalia: I have found that if and once people are truly motivated to change their lives they can make profound changes almost instantaneously. But what I have learnt is that everyone changes at their own pace – and only when they are truly ready to.
I have found it very fulfilling when coaching clients have almost transformed in front of me. But sometimes it will have taken many sessions to get there. Some people just like to hold on their old selves!
By the way, I too changed profoundly within a very short time a few years ago when I had those major life changes. It was quite a shock to the people in my life as I was no longer the short tempered, paranoid humanoid!
Can you even imagine me like that now?! You would not even have been in the same space as me never mind interviewing me! When I look back at how I was then, I have to cringe and laugh!
Damien Senn: How important is it to have dreams in the whole transformational process?
Arvind Devalia: Very important! It is our dreams that inspire us to strive further and harder. Once you become clear about your goals and focused on them, you can get inspired to make whatever changes necessary to transform yourself and your life.
I believe that there is something special and unique about each and every human being. Your dreams can come true, and everyone has the capacity to realise them. Life is meant to be simple, but we complicate it.
Life is meant to be a joy in all areas of your life – you can live and enjoy each day as you wish.
Indeed, you can all get the life you love – and live it.’
Damien Senn: What practical action steps would you recommend to people interested in beginning a transformational journey?
Arvind Devalia: I believe that one of the most important first steps is to clear the clutter from your life. By clutter I do not mean just the physical stuff such as old ornaments, books, out-of-date clothing etc, but also relationships and commitments that no longer inspire you. Too often we hold on to things and people in our life for the sake of it even though we may have outgrown them. There is a very useful clutter quiz in my book – and working through these 20 questions will help you release and let go of a life’s clutter if you take the quiz seriously and honestly.
At the same time, also spend time getting clear about what you want in your life, and indeed what your life purpose is. Ask yourself questions such as what sort of job do you want, what type of people do you want to mix with, where do you want to live, what is your life purpose and so on. There are a number of practical actions listed in my book to help you get to the answers to these pertinent questions.
Once you have created space for new things and people to come into your life, almost by magic, you will begin to attract more of what your need and desire now.
Of course at the same time, you must get into action, devise sound strategies and take sensible steps along your transformational journey.
Finally no matter what happens, keep going. I heard a speaker say recently – don’t just do your best, do whatever it takes!
Damien Senn: What recommendations would you give to anyone thinking about writing a book?
Arvind Devalia: You must be very clear about why you want to write the book and what you want to get out of it. As my friend and book editor, AnnA Rushton (www.creativecatalyst.co.uk) says, ask yourself these three “author questions”:-
Why do you want to write the book?
What does you want to get out of the book?
What do you want the result of writing it to be?
Once you have answered these questions, the key is START writing. I have come across so many people who also want to write a book – but some day, one day…..
I don’t believe there is such a thing as writer’s block. Put pen to paper and the inspiration will come.
A former coaching client wrote and published two books within just six months – simply through sitting down for half an hour minimum every morning. So anyone can do it.
The good news is that through the advent of technology anyone can now publish their own book through the many self-publishing options out there. Check out ecademy-press.com.
It is also vital that you get input from an editor / writing coach at an early stage – this will save you a lot of effort and wasted time.
There are many excellent writing and publishing coaches out there who can help you – check out AnnA Rushton (www.creativecatalyst.co.uk), Mindy Gibbins-Klein (www.bookmidwife.com) and Jo Parfitt (http://www.summertimepublishing.com).
I have greatly benefited from all three and I highly recommend them. Look at their websites, talk to them over the telephone and see who resonates with you.
Finally, you must not forget the marketing and selling of the book. A year ago I had 4,000 copies of my book printed and I am now down to 2,200. The book is stocked nationally by Borders Bookstores and also available from Waterstones and WHSmith. These major listings have come about directly as a result of a year long campaign of calling on bookstores and putting myself out there. It does take time but it will be very fulfilling to walk into a Borders bookstore and find your book on display!
My passion and belief in my book comes through when I talk about it to potential buyers – and it sells. Remember that no one can ever be more passionate about your book than you.
So you too must believe in your book and the message therein – and your passion will shine through. And the world will receive your message.
Good luck with the writing!
Damien Senn: You have been exposed to some amazing teachers over the course of your life. Which one has been most influential?
Arvind Devalia: From the people in my life, I am in total gratitude to my parents for making me the person I am today. Both my parents have been practicing a deep spiritual path for over 25 years and their way of life has impacted me deeply.
My single most amazing teacher has been my father, a renowned and prolific writer in his native language of Gujarati. His philosophy for living a life of contribution has certainly rubbed off on me – and I aspire to live up to his high expectations of me.
My mother too has influenced me deeply, probably more than she even realises. She is the sensible one in our family and sometimes I wish that more of that had rubbed off on me at a younger age!
Amongst historical and current figures, there have been many wonderful teachers but none more so than Gandhi. He has influenced me deeply and indeed I am currently developing a keynote speech using some of his teachings. MY favourite quite from Gandhi is “Let your life be your message”
At the same time, in my daily life I always remind myself that every interaction with another human being is a gift and an opportunity for growth and contribution. Everyone I meet is an amazing teacher.
Damien Senn: Do you think anyone can live an inspired life?
Arvind Devalia: Anyone can indeed live an inspired life - whatever “inspired” means for them. We all get so bogged down with the mundane things in life that we forget the bigger picture. There is so much beauty, abundance and goodness in our world, and yet we focus on and fret about the weather, looking good and reality TV shows!
Get rid of the clutter and baggage from your life, become very clear just what your life is about and get inspired. If I can do it, anyone can!
Just go and get the life you love – and live it?.
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